Safe words....have you used them?
 

....ive only used the "safe" word 3 times in twenty years of sessioning.

....twice because of excruciating(and i mean excrutiating!) cramp pains in my feet and legs(while secured to the A cross!)

....the third time was during a session that simply was a disaster,start to finish...the Mistress looked bored...i was far from attracted to her physical beauty(making me look bored as well!)...the session involvement took a peculiar turn into areas not previously discussed,thus culminating in an embarassed "bleat" from yours truely!

...pleased to say that was ten years ago and with a Mistress i visited only once!(suprise,suprise!)

...how about you?.....any need to utter the "dreaded" word?!

Aah safewords

:) :)

We don't have one a) because our play is usually quite light b) cos she knows me well enough to push but not too far and c) if it comes to it I just say "can we stop please I have cramp or my nose is itching....."

However, and I have told this story before so sorry regular readers! Many moons ago while doing a strapping session with Mistress Morgan I was given the safephrase Oranges are not the only fruit. Being the tough guy I am I lasted for hours and hours but finally I had to safeword

Unfortunately when I uttered it I forget the not and said "Oranges are the only fruit" It took a few more whacks before I realised my omission

:)

I do not operate with safewords, and prefer Mine to just inform Me if they have a cramp etc.

I dont understand the mindset of trying to will someone to safeword, that is why I do not operate with them. It is not a competition, or a battle of wills!

I've never used one, nor ever wanted to. That's not to say I've not in the past sought to curtail a session but that's been due to lack of chemistry rather than the activities themselves.

As far as possible, I really do want to hand over the power to my Domme so once any no go areas have been negotiated, I'm entirely in her hands. Others do things differently I know, but this is at the heart of my interest in being a sub. When a safeword exists, it takes something away from the servitude.

This is rarely a problem once you get to know a Mistress. Certainly there's no question with the Mistress I currently see that it's up to her what we start and when she stops. It can be tricky when seeing a new Domme, and for this reason I tend to gravitate towards those Mistresses that actually require a fair amount of upfront discussion before the first session.

Like others on this thread, I don't use them. I think it's very much to do with your style of play. The way my Domination has developed, they simply don't have a place within it.

If we're dealing with huge amounts of pain, my submissives are either conditioned to feel pleasure or are so completely into subspace, they wouldn't know what day of the week it is, never mind remember a word or phrase I'd given them. They're simply not able to decide when enough is enough.

I don't have a strong feeling on whether safewords are good or not. They work well for some people, for others of us not so much. Because I play so deeply mentally, I would say that for my style of play, using a safeword would be more dangerous than not.

I agree very much with this Mistress Rouge

To be fair to MM in my story I hadn't seen her for ages when we had this session. In the meantime she had changed from D/s to SM and it was a new experience for me so I think she wanted an out for me, if necessary. I reckon the missing of the word amused her and it didn't go on for too long after I messed up

Mind you I wish I had had a safeword when she used to punish me with ice cold baths and showers

:)

Not knocking or judging anyone that uses safewords, different strokes for different folks, whatever works for the two parties in question.

Myself I have never used them and cant even if sometimes I have been in 'troubled waters' simply because if I have a safeword then I am in charge, and it does not work for me like that, just not possible. If a Mistress insisted on a safeword then its over before it even began, I could not commence with the session.

....surely therefore quite a good "safephrase"..."i have cramp Mistress Rouge"!!

...yes,i can understand this completely Fidel....actually,i really feel this way too as if one has been given a safe word by the Domme,it is effectively an "opt out" clause and tends to lose the whole point of the session.

...surely the safe word is for new sessions when Domme and sub have yet to form a friendship or trust.

...ive had a few sessions where safe words were not mentioned,making the whole experience ultimately more satisfying(and challenging)....but ive found that a lot of Dommes out there do use them for sessions....maybe as a result of the UKs obsession with all things "health and safety" at the moment.