Are you proud of your submission ?

[Mistress Adore]

A huge part of my style (and i am sure many Mistress's) is to build up my gents.
I do not want, or allow them to feel ashamed of either themselves or the things they enjoy when they spend time with me.
Some come to see me fully happy with themselves, others take a while to understand i mean what i say on my site's, that i have no place for negativity in my gents.

So what are your views ?

How have they changed through the years ?

Was there a certain person who helped your view change or did it come from yourself and your own confidence in yourself ?

I am sure this has been asked before but as there are always new people joining the site i thought why not ask again

I am not sure proud would be the word I would use. What I have learnt from my domme is that I should embrace and enjoy it (I owe her big time for this and for a lot of other things)

Being an older person (yes yes numquata) I started out when BDSM and sessioning was very underground and a bit furtive. Fun in a way but I was ashamed of this "weird urge" I had and I felt very alone - no-one I could talk to about it all and wanted to be normal..............

The much missed Mistress Morgan started the process of me getting my head around it as she made me realise that you could be friends with the domme you were seeing and then The Boss knocked (in the nicest possible way) all the negativity out of me

UKM (and some of the lovely people on here) helped a lot when I started living on my own. Being able to discuss sessioning both online and in person at munches was great as I realised I wasn't alone and others had the same feelings as me. And a lot of them are "normal" (not including numquata of course) and just like me

I'd also add my friends to this. I did come out to some of them and to a man and woman they were great and accepting!!

[mag108]

Yes I'm proud of my submission, but have to keep quiet about it. In a parallel universe I'd be wearing my heart on my sleeve and probably bruises. But that's not how it is, and that's OK. It's enough that my Mistress has told me she's proud of what I can take for her.

[JJ5]

For me that has to be a resounding Yes!
It is hard to describe the feeling that I get as I give my Domina my all.
It has not always been the way but serving some wonderful Ladies over many years has bought me to the place I am at today. Proud of who I am.

[subtle]

I think I'd make a distinction between acts of submission and submissive tendencies. I think the tendencies are something you just have, or develop, like a taste in music, and not something to be particularly proud or not proud of.

Some acts of submission that I've made over the years have given me a bit of a warm glow, and I've felt like they've strengthened me & helped me develop. There are some lovely Dommes out there who are very sweet & nurturing, even if that's not their obvious public image.

And there have been other acts of submission that have made me feel anything but proud, and one in particular which made me feel completely crappy.

I think to me whether I feel proud or not really is bound up with the other person - is she someone I want to please, and do I seem to be getting it (at least partly) right?

[numquata]

I’m not proud of my inclinations but equally neither am I ashamed of them. I simply accept them. Since I indulge myself in private with a consenting adult, they are no concern of others and I am indifferent as to whether they conform to some kind of societal norm. Whatever that norm might be. Besides, whilst my acute sensitivities and fragile psyche are deeply hurt by Lisal’s comments – to the extent I may yet need to seek counselling – I should observe that if he regards himself as normal then there is hope for us all yet.

[Mistress Adore]

Pride may have been to strong a word, but i do not want my gents to feel ashamed of themselves in any way

[balacano]

.....im afraid im a classic "closet sub",keeping my feelings and tendencies very much "in the cupboard".

......i would be very worried about "coming out" to the vanilla world,as im sure many would wish to ridicule and would not understand.

....shame, but thats life!

[Mistress Adore]

Originally Posted by balacano

.....im afraid im a classic "closet sub",keeping my feelings and tendencies very much "in the cupboard".

......i would be very worried about "coming out" to the vanilla world,as im sure many would wish to ridicule and would not understand.

....shame, but thats life!

I agree but i am not expecting anyone to go and tell the world i just mean inside yourself, feeling happy with who you are, not going and shouting it from the rooftops but just being able to smile to yourself when you think about whatever your interests are without a feeling of guilt attached.

I guess i should have worded the original post a bit better

[GordonFreeman]

Originally Posted by Mistress Adore

i just mean inside yourself, feeling happy with who you are, not going and shouting it from the rooftops but just being able to smile to yourself when you think about whatever your interests are without a feeling of guilt attached.

I guess i should have worded the original post a bit better

The answer to that is that I can only agree with Mistress Adore. This is precisely how I feel. I have never felt ashamed of my predeliction and never seen it as shameful. I embrace it is an essential part of my being and it is that I am proud of. I must admit I do play games with people who do not know of my interest in BDSM. Recently a rather attractive lady colleague I work with (rather school ma'amish - would make a perfect domme) was amused that someone misplaced me when I was travelling between one office and the next. She said 'I will have to put a collar and lead on you won't I?' I replied - oohh yes please - wouldn't people talk then?' She went quite red and giggled. Great fun.

I think pride on submission will come when I find someone who I feel I can totally submit to - body and soul. I believe then with that submission will come completeness and pride if you can call it that. Having said all that you seem perfect for me Mistress Adore - shame we are at opposite ends of the country!