Tributes and destroying the fantasy

[tallpaul69]

Originally Posted by Mistress Susannah

Great thread Mistress Ana. Most of what I feel has already been covered. If I could just pick up on one point that lisal has already replied to.




This is at the very heart of things for me and it's something I often come back to.

I maybe have a slightly "fairy tale" notion of sessioning but I'm a lifestyle Domme who likes to play with different people who are on my wavelength. I'm not someone who earns a fortune (by any means) and I combine pro Domming with several other careers. As subtle has wisely said, the money simply enables things to happen. Within sessions I'm not a service provider. I don't run through a list of activities. The submissive doesn't get to pick what we do. I listen to what they're most attracted to (generally so I can tease the hell out of them) and obviously work within their limits (although I've been known to push them once we've built up a relationship).

I don't see many people and spend most of my days writing "I don't feel I'm the right Mistress for you" emails. I need the people I dominate to be people I would dominate in a lifestyle sense. Without the money (which incidentally is a turn on for me) I wouldn't be able to session with so many.... and I believe that would be sad for all of us.

From my experience, sessions are emotional and intense. They produce feelings in us both like nothing else in life. I try to keep my tributes fair and balanced. But they need to be there, or I would have to do something else or be out on the street. Those I see are completely respectful of that.

Now, if I were selling mars bars, or indeed dildos, or if I were an accountant I wouldn't mind comparisons in price. They're consumable products. I don't really want to be thought of as a consumable product. I'm a human being with thoughts, feelings and emotions. When I session I give an awful lot of myself. For me to be discussed merely on a price tag is quite crass and upsetting.

I don't believe I have ever been discussed this way on UKM. But when I see other Mistresses being discussed like such I think about how it would make me feel - and that's upsetting. They're not even around to discuss the issue, which is even worse. I personally feel such discussions and comparisons are better off in PM - unless, as lisal says, they form part of a kosher review that has been forwarded to the Mistress for her thoughts. We don't know a Mistresses motivation or her circumstances for charging a particular price.... so why not leave the surmising for PM's - then you can still have the conversation (and express dismay) and you stop upsetting the Mistresses.

I appreciate that others may session in a different way, and it maybe a different experience for them. But I hope that communicates how some of us are made to feel when we're discussed like "consumables".

Good post IMHO-although I hesitate a bit about labelling all other artefacts as "consumables"

Wouldn't your musicality fulfill many of the criteria you ascribe to your professional S/M sessioning?...aren't well made confectionary or sexual toys just as much the product of the same creative and character traits that make for successful sessioning?

Originally Posted by Mistress Susannah

Great thread Mistress Ana. Most of what I feel has already been covered. If I could just pick up on one point that lisal has already replied to.




This is at the very heart of things for me and it's something I often come back to.

I maybe have a slightly "fairy tale" notion of sessioning but I'm a lifestyle Domme who likes to play with different people who are on my wavelength. I'm not someone who earns a fortune (by any means) and I combine pro Domming with several other careers. As subtle has wisely said, the money simply enables things to happen. Within sessions I'm not a service provider. I don't run through a list of activities. The submissive doesn't get to pick what we do. I listen to what they're most attracted to (generally so I can tease the hell out of them) and obviously work within their limits (although I've been known to push them once we've built up a relationship).

I don't see many people and spend most of my days writing "I don't feel I'm the right Mistress for you" emails. I need the people I dominate to be people I would dominate in a lifestyle sense. Without the money (which incidentally is a turn on for me) I wouldn't be able to session with so many.... and I believe that would be sad for all of us.

From my experience, sessions are emotional and intense. They produce feelings in us both like nothing else in life. I try to keep my tributes fair and balanced. But they need to be there, or I would have to do something else or be out on the street. Those I see are completely respectful of that.

Now, if I were selling mars bars, or indeed dildos, or if I were an accountant I wouldn't mind comparisons in price. They're consumable products. I don't really want to be thought of as a consumable product. I'm a human being with thoughts, feelings and emotions. When I session I give an awful lot of myself. For me to be discussed merely on a price tag is quite crass and upsetting.

I don't believe I have ever been discussed this way on UKM. But when I see other Mistresses being discussed like such I think about how it would make me feel - and that's upsetting. They're not even around to discuss the issue, which is even worse. I personally feel such discussions and comparisons are better off in PM - unless, as lisal says, they form part of a kosher review that has been forwarded to the Mistress for her thoughts. We don't know a Mistresses motivation or her circumstances for charging a particular price.... so why not leave the surmising for PM's - then you can still have the conversation (and express dismay) and you stop upsetting the Mistresses.

I appreciate that others may session in a different way, and it maybe a different experience for them. But I hope that communicates how some of us are made to feel when we're discussed like "consumables".

Now this a fantastic post

[mikeyports]

Originally Posted by Ana

Where tributes are concerned, is anyone else of the belief that by picking apart or seeking some kind of justification in terms of value in the cash handed over to spend time with the Lady in mind - well, isn't it all quite fantasy destroying? What is it that some people seem to want as reassurance of 'value'?

'.

I do not seek justification in terms of value nor do I expect a great time tho its a bones but as I said before with all the will in the world you may not just click(but saying that have enjoyed all my sessions with pro Dom's).

I just want to be safe and know I'm in good hands for the hour.

I hope I don't get shot down for saying this but I see pro Dom's and pay a tribute to explore my fantasy's safely.

And that does not mean I view pro doms as commodities far from that at the end of the day they are human beings like the rest of us which is why I enjoy pre and post session chats so much.

my view

[chris4slavery]

I think what we're doing is trying to recreate a fantasy.
Schoolmistresses, demonic nurses etc either don't exist, or don't exist in the manner we dream about.

Its a fantasy recreated in a commercial environment. So most of us won't want to spend 3k on it. But will happily spend 100, 150, 200 or whatever.

PS on the subject of expensive/ overpriced/ripoff/ value vs the fantasy, I can think of one American domme who's rates are a little above what most of us consider a "normal market rate".

However, this Domme is 6'5, former pro athlete, martial arts blackbelt powerful yet feminine, a trained actress, beautiful, very intelligent and also very nice and dignified. I honestly believe she could be a Hollywood star. The pt is she conveys something uniquely special, and that fact she can fill up her whole week at that rate. This is where fantasy and proven worth overrides market "going rate".