UKM - seeing more then one Mistress - UK

mikeyports · 04-11-2012, 23:44

I have been seeing one Mistress for a long time and she is now retired.

I have been seeing a few diffrent Mistresses and happly have enjoyed most of my sessions.

I have found one that I click with and enjoy and want to see reg but also want to play the field a bit I have told her this and she is fine.

I think I am doing the right thing telling a mistress I am seeing diffrent people?

So do you think its best to be hornest as long as you dont give names and personal details about sessions?

05-11-2012, 05:56

I think you have to be comfortable about what you are doing, mikey, and being open is you. I am sure that the lady involved likes your honesty

It is one of those "depends" questions. Some subs would prefer not to tell and, maybe, some dommes would find it easier not to know. But it clearly works for the two of you and that is great

subparman · 05-11-2012, 09:29

I have been seeing one mistress regularly (monthly)for about 7 years having sessioned with many more mistresses over 25 years, some for a year or so.
I guess by experimenting I have learnt what ticks the boxes and for a long time these have been very fulfilling sessions. However I have recently got itchy feet, I want to try a few different scenarios or activities which my mistress doesn't offer.

I am now faced with this dilema, I know my mistress quite well and vice versa, including out of session, backgrounds, families, hobbies etc.

I have recently visited another mistress having discussed my situation with her and stated what activities were important to me, it was no point visiting somebody new and doing the same things. Unfortunately I was then let down, none of the things we discussed happened and afterwards I was given various excuses like she forgot or was keeping it for my next visit which obviously won't happen. I didn't present a script, simply said what had attracted me to that mistress from her specialist activities and how she described herself.

I am now still faced with the same dilema and will revisit my current mistress as I am due to session again. However, it feels like I'm just taking the safe option so to speak, 'better the devil you know than ....' without intending any offence.

I am sure this isn't going to scratch my itch and may not fulfill me as it used to. I am debating telling my current mistress where I am at to be fair to her, there is a loyalty and friendship that has built up and I feel guilty about the possibility of leaving her. I know at the end of the day it is really a business relationship but like any relationship when you are fond of the other person going separate ways is difficult.

As I write this I know I shall be telling her, although until I find what I want I don't want to move on and probably won't, I think that itself is the difficult bit - its like having an affair behind somebody's back until it suits you to leave. Not that I would know that!

Mistress Adore · 05-11-2012, 09:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikeyports

I have been seeing one Mistress for a long time and she is now retired.

I have been seeing a few diffrent Mistresses and happly have enjoyed most of my sessions.

I have found one that I click with and enjoy and want to see reg but also want to play the field a bit I have told her this and she is fine.

I think I am doing the right thing telling a mistress I am seeing diffrent people?

So do you think its best to be honest as long as you dont give names and personal details about sessions?

I have one who see's another Mistress, i never ask when he is going to see her unless i intend to mark him, as i would never send him to see another with marks.

He is open and honest, that's all i ask of mine.

I do not know about any others but i do not get the feeling they are seeing anyone else, but they are free to see who they want.

scapey · 05-11-2012, 09:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikeyports

I have been seeing one Mistress for a long time and she is now retired.

I have been seeing a few diffrent Mistresses and happly have enjoyed most of my sessions.

I have found one that I click with and enjoy and want to see reg but also want to play the field a bit I have told her this and she is fine.

I think I am doing the right thing telling a mistress I am seeing diffrent people?

So do you think its best to be hornest as long as you dont give names and personal details about sessions?

Mikey you know my history

.
I never hid the fact that I visited more than one Mistress from any of the 3 regular ones and never found that there was any problem with my openess/honesty.
You have to gauge how much its wise to say and when the best time to say it.
Good luck whatever you choose

jon123 · 05-11-2012, 11:33

I've quoted this before, but Mistress Keene's last blog entries have a concentrated wisdom that is inspiring:

"...these subs stuck with me, seeing me regularly when so many just dumped me when other things in their life took precedence. I got fed up with being so low on the priority list that subs who had been seeing me regularly just dropped me with barely a word or explanation. My dominance, the effort I put in was worth more than that and so I thought if this was how it made me feel, it was time to stop. It had become personal and not in any kind of nice way."

This doesn't specifically mention loyalty in the context we have been discussing it, but it seems relevant (unless I have misunderstood the piece I have quoted).

Since dommes 'dominate' multiple subs it may seem strange to see anything inappropriate with a 'sub' being dominated by multiple dommes. Yet perhaps the two cases are not symmetrical: a certain type of submission can only be to one domme.

I never practised this type of submission, one reason being, I think, that I felt it was not particularly welcome. But I may have been wrong, and not just in one way.

(I may have to quote this passage yet again in a few months time)

subparman · 05-11-2012, 12:37

[quote=jon123;34045]
"...these subs stuck with me, seeing me regularly when so many just dumped me when other things in their life took precedence. I got fed up with being so low on the priority list that subs who had been seeing me regularly just dropped me with barely a word or explanation.

I can understand that. when you have seen a mistress for a while a relationship develops either within the professional guidelines and roles or sometimes beyond that for the lucky ones.

A mistress must have much the same feelings as us subs, they have invested in that relationship, probably opened up to the sub about non professional aspects of their lives and developed a mutual trust. Apart from any relationship aspect that is why the sessions become fulfilling.

It is like getting past the first date in a vanilla relationship, things get better and better - usually. A mistress is entitled to feel the way described, it is understandable although how many subs will have thought of it like this?

I have read some criticisms over the years about why subs fondly reminisce about special mistresses who dissapear or retire - it is for the same reasons and perfectly understandable in my opinion.

05-11-2012, 13:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by subparman

I have been seeing one mistress regularly (monthly)for about 7 years having sessioned with many more mistresses over 25 years, some for a year or so.
I guess by experimenting I have learnt what ticks the boxes and for a long time these have been very fulfilling sessions. However I have recently got itchy feet, I want to try a few different scenarios or activities which my mistress doesn't offer.

I am now faced with this dilema, I know my mistress quite well and vice versa, including out of session, backgrounds, families, hobbies etc.

A number of years back I wanted to try something (rubber bondage) which my domme wasn't equipped for. I told her and she was fine about it; in the end it turned out very well as I loved it and invested in a rubber bag which we use regularly

If the same situation occurred again I would tell her and we would go through the same process but it would be a one-off. I'd definitely not "move dommes" as I think far far too much of her. I think she would find it odd if I did - and let down. It's the Mistress Keene thing - we have been through so much together and built such a strong relationship etc etc

I owe her far too much even to contemplate it

Andles · 05-11-2012, 23:19

I think you are doing the honourable thing Mikey. Good luck with finding the right Mistress. I, too, am back looking since my regular lady retired but I have never sessioned more than four or five times a year so maybe regular is relative.

ji_scott · 06-11-2012, 00:05

Over the last 20 years I've always had one regular Mistress that I saw about monthly, first one, and then a second when the first one and I parted ways. But when I travel, I see other Mistresses who interest me. Both of my regular Mistresses have known about that and were fine with it. Sometimes, but not always, we would talk about those sessions.

But I would never schedule with two Mistresses who were in business in the same geographic market. Too much chance for competitive fires to erupt.

04-11-2012, 23:44	#1
mikeyports Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: portsmouth Posts: 944 Reputation: 59	seeing more then one Mistress I have been seeing one Mistress for a long time and she is now retired. I have been seeing a few diffrent Mistresses and happly have enjoyed most of my sessions. I have found one that I click with and enjoy and want to see reg but also want to play the field a bit I have told her this and she is fine. I think I am doing the right thing telling a mistress I am seeing diffrent people? So do you think its best to be hornest as long as you dont give names and personal details about sessions? __________________ don't judge people i accept them There is not a person that breathes that does not have peculiaritys as long as it does not hurt anyone its OK by me.(cant stop the music) [live life and have a beautiful ending https://twitter.com/Elainasslut

05-11-2012, 23:19	#9
Andles Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 49 Reputation: 10	I think you are doing the honourable thing Mikey. Good luck with finding the right Mistress. I, too, am back looking since my regular lady retired but I have never sessioned more than four or five times a year so maybe regular is relative. __________________ Now also available on Twitter @Andles_UK

05-11-2012, 05:56	#2
Lisal Guest Posts: n/a	I think you have to be comfortable about what you are doing, mikey, and being open is you. I am sure that the lady involved likes your honesty It is one of those "depends" questions. Some subs would prefer not to tell and, maybe, some dommes would find it easier not to know. But it clearly works for the two of you and that is great

05-11-2012, 09:29	#3
subparman Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 494 Reputation: 59	I have been seeing one mistress regularly (monthly)for about 7 years having sessioned with many more mistresses over 25 years, some for a year or so. I guess by experimenting I have learnt what ticks the boxes and for a long time these have been very fulfilling sessions. However I have recently got itchy feet, I want to try a few different scenarios or activities which my mistress doesn't offer. I am now faced with this dilema, I know my mistress quite well and vice versa, including out of session, backgrounds, families, hobbies etc. I have recently visited another mistress having discussed my situation with her and stated what activities were important to me, it was no point visiting somebody new and doing the same things. Unfortunately I was then let down, none of the things we discussed happened and afterwards I was given various excuses like she forgot or was keeping it for my next visit which obviously won't happen. I didn't present a script, simply said what had attracted me to that mistress from her specialist activities and how she described herself. I am now still faced with the same dilema and will revisit my current mistress as I am due to session again. However, it feels like I'm just taking the safe option so to speak, 'better the devil you know than ....' without intending any offence. I am sure this isn't going to scratch my itch and may not fulfill me as it used to. I am debating telling my current mistress where I am at to be fair to her, there is a loyalty and friendship that has built up and I feel guilty about the possibility of leaving her. I know at the end of the day it is really a business relationship but like any relationship when you are fond of the other person going separate ways is difficult. As I write this I know I shall be telling her, although until I find what I want I don't want to move on and probably won't, I think that itself is the difficult bit - its like having an affair behind somebody's back until it suits you to leave. Not that I would know that!

05-11-2012, 11:33	#6
jon123 Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 793 Reputation: 165	I've quoted this before, but Mistress Keene's last blog entries have a concentrated wisdom that is inspiring: "...these subs stuck with me, seeing me regularly when so many just dumped me when other things in their life took precedence. I got fed up with being so low on the priority list that subs who had been seeing me regularly just dropped me with barely a word or explanation. My dominance, the effort I put in was worth more than that and so I thought if this was how it made me feel, it was time to stop. It had become personal and not in any kind of nice way." This doesn't specifically mention loyalty in the context we have been discussing it, but it seems relevant (unless I have misunderstood the piece I have quoted). Since dommes 'dominate' multiple subs it may seem strange to see anything inappropriate with a 'sub' being dominated by multiple dommes. Yet perhaps the two cases are not symmetrical: a certain type of submission can only be to one domme. I never practised this type of submission, one reason being, I think, that I felt it was not particularly welcome. But I may have been wrong, and not just in one way. (I may have to quote this passage yet again in a few months time)

05-11-2012, 12:37	#7
subparman Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 494 Reputation: 59	[quote=jon123;34045] "...these subs stuck with me, seeing me regularly when so many just dumped me when other things in their life took precedence. I got fed up with being so low on the priority list that subs who had been seeing me regularly just dropped me with barely a word or explanation. I can understand that. when you have seen a mistress for a while a relationship develops either within the professional guidelines and roles or sometimes beyond that for the lucky ones. A mistress must have much the same feelings as us subs, they have invested in that relationship, probably opened up to the sub about non professional aspects of their lives and developed a mutual trust. Apart from any relationship aspect that is why the sessions become fulfilling. It is like getting past the first date in a vanilla relationship, things get better and better - usually. A mistress is entitled to feel the way described, it is understandable although how many subs will have thought of it like this? I have read some criticisms over the years about why subs fondly reminisce about special mistresses who dissapear or retire - it is for the same reasons and perfectly understandable in my opinion.

06-11-2012, 00:05	#10
ji_scott Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: U.S. Posts: 113 Reputation: 10	Over the last 20 years I've always had one regular Mistress that I saw about monthly, first one, and then a second when the first one and I parted ways. But when I travel, I see other Mistresses who interest me. Both of my regular Mistresses have known about that and were fine with it. Sometimes, but not always, we would talk about those sessions. But I would never schedule with two Mistresses who were in business in the same geographic market. Too much chance for competitive fires to erupt.