Vanilla submissive

[Lisal]

Best title I could come up with!

Before Xmas I was out with a couple of “vanilla” female friends. My partner is quite bossy (in a nice way) and we were talking about her. Then one friend said to me that I obviously liked being dominated in a relationship - and the other one agreed immediately

It threw me a bit. What signs was I sending out?

I asked herself this yesterday during session. She said even if she hadn’t known my predilections through our relationship she’d have said the same. I asked why - her response was that I was soft and preferred women’s company to men’s among other things

Do you wonder if your submissiveness is apparent in “vanilla world”?

[ex nihilo]

Originally Posted by Lisal

Best title I could come up with!

Before Xmas I was out with a couple of “vanilla” female friends. My partner is quite bossy (in a nice way) and we were talking about her. Then one friend said to me that I obviously liked being dominated in a relationship - and the other one agreed immediately

It threw me a bit. What signs was I sending out?

I asked herself this yesterday during session. She said even if she hadn’t known my predilections through our relationship she’d have said the same. I asked why - her response was that I was soft and preferred women’s company to men’s among other things

Do you wonder if your submissiveness is apparent in “vanilla world”?

Not sure if 'softness', empathy or sensitivity necessarily equates with submissiveness.

That could imply that certain non-submissive roles, like CEO's, airline pilots, competitive sports persons etc, would not be able to reveal a sensitive side.

Some submissives in session seek out power exchange as respite from their normal day to day lives...

[Lisal]

Originally Posted by ex nihilo

Not sure if 'softness', empathy or sensitivity necessarily equates with submissiveness.

That could imply that certain non-submissive roles, like CEO's, airline pilots, competitive sports persons etc, would not be able to reveal a sensitive side.

Some submissives in session seek out power exchange as respite from their normal day to day lives...

I’d tend to agree but, maybe, it’s those traits with something a bit more undefinable that shows that submissiveness to the wider world (or at least part of it)?

As you suggest the power exchange happens but that could be more a one off - scratch the itch - so not as innate as some?

[reefknot]

I have over time met with some people of both sexes who outwardly in public appear to be dominant / assertive etc and others that appear to be submissive / compliant etc yet in a more personal encounters are different

I feel that environment some folk are in does alter their dominance / submissive persona