A ‘true sadist’ wouldn’t make a good domme. Discuss

[Bjorn Brimble]

The one quality a good domme requires above all others is empathy.

I’m guessing a true sadist wouldn’t really have much empathy

So there’s a bit of a paradox going on here

I could be wrong here, but I suspect most BDSM sadists are not everyday sadists, and that BDSM sadism just represents a prosocial manifestation of subclinical sadism

In other words, a BDSM domme can be as sadistic as an everyday sadist up to the point where the sub enjoys the pain, but stops deriving pleasure the moment consent is withdrawn or when it’s obvious the sub is clearly not enjoying it.

But sometimes subs might want to really ‘suffer’ and not enjoy it. Then derive satisfaction after the event and revel in the delight their domme took in their suffering.

I wonder if anyone has ever encountered a domme who was ‘too nice’ for their own requirements?

Or a pro domme who you suspected was a ‘true sadist’?

And did you find her terrifying or exciting?

Again best if we leave individual names out of this thread.

[Slutty Rimmer]

Originally Posted by Bjorn Brimble

The one quality a good domme requires above all others is empathy.

I’m guessing a true sadist wouldn’t really have much empathy

So there’s a bit of a paradox going on here

I could be wrong here, but I suspect most BDSM sadists are not everyday sadists, and that BDSM sadism just represents a prosocial manifestation of subclinical sadism

In other words, a BDSM domme can be as sadistic as an everyday sadist up to the point where the sub enjoys the pain, but stops deriving pleasure the moment consent is withdrawn or when it’s obvious the sub is clearly not enjoying it.

But sometimes subs might want to really ‘suffer’ and not enjoy it. Then derive satisfaction after the event and revel in the delight their domme took in their suffering.

I wonder if anyone has ever encountered a domme who was ‘too nice’ for their own requirements?

Or a pro domme who you suspected was a ‘true sadist’?

And did you find her terrifying or exciting?

Again best if we leave individual names out of this thread.

Firstly, what do you mean by a ‘true sadist’ ?

Also can a ‘true sadist’ be a true sadist with a ‘true masochist’ ?

Masochist: Punish me Mistress, please punish me. I want you to punish me now !

Mistress: No.

Masochist: Thank you Mistress, that was wonderful…£217 okay ?

Kind Regards,
Rimmer.

[ex nihilo]

Originally Posted by Bjorn Brimble

In other words, a BDSM domme can be as sadistic as an everyday sadist up to the point where the sub enjoys the pain, but stops deriving pleasure the moment consent is withdrawn or when it’s obvious the sub is clearly not enjoying it.

But sometimes subs might want to really ‘suffer’ and not enjoy it. Then derive satisfaction after the event and revel in the delight their domme took in their suffering.

I wonder if anyone has ever encountered a domme who was ‘too nice’ for their own requirements?

Or a pro domme who you suspected was a ‘true sadist’?

Good topic this.

As an SM'er, it's important to have an honest conversation pre-session and then as to the session experience, during the aftercare. You can't really calibrate sadism in the sense that you can ramp it up or down to suit circumstances. It is either there or it is not.

Having said that both parties will have signed up to RACK pre-session. So boundary conditions have been put in the open. So, sadism in the PD returning client arena, will not feature TPE.

It's amazing how much pain can be endured in the care of a trusted Domme, compared to stubbing your toe on the door frame in the middle of the night. The latter really hurts, the former is a privilege...

[Slutty Rimmer]

Originally Posted by ex nihilo

Having said that both parties will have signed up to RACK pre-session. So boundary conditions have been put in the open.

I can confirm that is certainly not true. Both parties might sometimes have signed up to RACK. You seem though to have a very narrow scene conforming view of professional domination which makes little allowance for those professionals not in ‘the scene’.

Not everyone plays by the rules, especially when there are no rules.

Kind Regards,
Rimmer.

[ex nihilo]

Originally Posted by Slutty Rimmer

You seem though to have a very narrow scene conforming view of professional domination which makes little allowance for those professionals not in ‘the scene’.

Not everyone plays by the rules, especially when there are no rules.

Kind Regards,
Rimmer.

No.

That's why our community is called UK-Mistresses. The Definitive Guide to Professional Domination in the UK. Maybe you are in the wrong place.

There are always rules...

[Slutty Rimmer]

Originally Posted by ex nihilo

No.

That's why our community is called UK-Mistresses. The Definitive Guide to Professional Domination in the UK. Maybe you are in the wrong place.

There are always rules...

No, not at all.

There are not always agreed rules. More than once I have visited a PD who has stated there is no safeword or formal agreement, and I must trust her judgement throughout. No limits or even activities could be requested or were agreed, not even a time limit. Kink minus zero.

It was all based purely on instinctive trust at the time. Quite an exhilarating ringer of a gamble, if that’s your thing.

Kind Regards,
Rimmer.

[ex nihilo]

Originally Posted by Slutty Rimmer

No, not at all.

There are not always agreed rules. More than once I have visited a PD who has stated there is no safeword or formal agreement, and I must trust her judgement throughout. No limits or even activities could be requested or were agreed, not even a time limit. Kink minus zero.

It was all based purely on instinctive trust at the time. Quite an exhilarating ringer of a gamble, if that’s your thing.

Kind Regards,
Rimmer.

Each to their own.

Smacks (no pun intended) of irresponsible sessioning to me.

On the arrival form at A&E. "Dead ringer for love, mistaken for ringer of a gamble." ...

[Slutty Rimmer]

Originally Posted by ex nihilo

Each to their own.

Smacks (no pun intended) of irresponsible sessioning to me.

On the arrival form at A&E. "Dead ringer for love, mistaken for ringer of a gamble." ...

It was her giving out the smacks so she probably wasn’t your thing tbf. You stick within your regulated scene play if that is more your thing.

Kind Regards,
Rimmer.

[ex nihilo]

Originally Posted by Bjorn Brimble

Yep UK-M has be SSC only. It underpins everything.

Absolutely.

As our site says.

"You wish to read about consensual BDSM, including such activities as submission to dominant women; spanking; corporal punishment; bondage; medical fetishes; watersports; consensual torture; foot fetishes; and other aspects of BDSM play."

I think our kink minus zero, no rules, 'ringer of a gamble' merchant, who doesn't do PD anymore, might be on the wrong site ? ...

[Slutty Rimmer]

Originally Posted by ex nihilo

Absolutely.

As our site says.

"You wish to read about consensual BDSM, including such activities as submission to dominant women; spanking; corporal punishment; bondage; medical fetishes; watersports; consensual torture; foot fetishes; and other aspects of BDSM play."

I think our kink minus zero, no rules, 'ringer of a gamble' merchant, who doesn't do PD anymore, might be on the wrong site ? ...

Important point being made here guys. This does indeed sound a great forum…

"You wish to read about consensual BDSM, including such activities as submission to dominant women; spanking; corporal punishment; bondage; medical fetishes; watersports; consensual torture; foot fetishes; and other aspects of BDSM play."

Roger that. +1. Defo the right place for those of us who are BDSM/Fetish kinksters. Thanks for the heads-up on this one.

Don’t forget folks - writing as well as reading…once you’ve past his acceptance test of course.

Kind Regards,
Rimmer.