Humiliation

[jon123]

What's all this about, then?

Here are two conversations in session, not exactly accurate, but they make the point:
a) "I'm going to chain you in the gents toilet, bitch, and charge 50p a time to piss in your mouth"
b) "you prefer softer sessions, don't you?"

Needless to say, the first one, from some time ago with a long-term mistress, was wildly exciting. The second one, and more recent, was said near the end of a poor session, and made the session worse.

The second was humiliating, the first was not. Logically, if I like humiliation I should prefer the second.

It must be difficult for a mistress to run a 'real' humiliation session, however we define it. By 'real' I mean something that the submissive genuinely finds humiliating.

(this example only works, of course, if like me you find the first scenario somewhat arousing)

[Slutty Rimmer]

Originally Posted by jon123

What's all this about, then?

Here are two conversations in session, not exactly accurate, but they make the point:
a) "I'm going to chain you in the gents toilet, bitch, and charge 50p a time to piss in your mouth"
b) "you prefer softer sessions, don't you?"

Needless to say, the first one, from some time ago with a long-term mistress, was wildly exciting. The second one, and more recent, was said near the end of a poor session, and made the session worse.

The second was humiliating, the first was not. Logically, if I like humiliation I should prefer the second.

It must be difficult for a mistress to run a 'real' humiliation session, however we define it. By 'real' I mean something that the submissive genuinely finds humiliating.

(this example only works, of course, if like me you find the first scenario somewhat arousing)

I understand the illogical contradiction you are expressing.

I will understand it even more by the end of this week when she uses her partner to fully abuse me. I am fearful, ashamed, humiliated, excited, and aroused.

There is an explanation, I think. Adjectives are discrete and singular whereas our emotions and pysche are a superposition of many (and often contradictory) such singular feelings. Terms such as ‘humiliated’, ‘ashamed’, or ‘aroused’ etc are artificial constructs that rarely (or never) exist on their own. Has anyone ever truly felt only a single emotion with a single description that excludes all else ? Unalloyed delight is a fantasy that is typically alloyed with doubt or caution. It is the impurity which strengthens the alloyed emotion.

It is a bit quantum really, because what we experience is really an average weighted sum over all possible emotions, none of which exist in isolation*. Often one term will dominate, but never is it alone*.

Hence, try to decompose that sum and you are left with contradictory and irrational parts that do not seem to fit together. They do though, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

Does any of this make sense ?

By the end of this week my hole will be greater after all the parts she intends to sum it over. Dirty f*cking bitch ! I love to be abused so.

P.S. Did she really enact scene A) ? I have been taunted with similar, except kneeling naked in a shower. At least I will be a clean dirty whore. Illogical or what ?

Kind Regards,
The Fireman.

* The possible exception is perhaps the ground state of despair. All there is left after hope finally flees. I thankfully have never quite been there, but I have been down to just a handful of emotions left. Perhaps that is all we ever have and it is just a case of enabling a productive and sustainable mix ?

At some point in life we all are in need of a hope transplant. A new hope.

[jon123]

Originally Posted by Slutty Rimmer

P.S. Did she really enact scene A)

No that was a fantasy, though I have been abused.

She did say that she had been to a gay club where a man would sit in a tub all evening as it gradually filled up. I never asked whether it was liquid only.

[Mistress Adore]

A was fantasy, or what I would call play.
B was personal at the end of a not as good as normal session, not in play mode, (or so it translated to me) this is why I would never use B in play as an example unless my guy and I both knew he has taken a lot and that was his style of play.

Humiliation is such a personal type of play it is easy to miss the mark, when it does it leads to a session that can leave the gent feeling like crap (not in a good way) and when it hit's the mark it leaves the gent in the zone ;-)

[jon123]

Originally Posted by Mistress Adore

A was fantasy, or what I would call play.
B was personal at the end of a not as good as normal session, not in play mode, (or so it translated to me) this is why I would never use B in play as an example unless my guy and I both knew he has taken a lot and that was his style of play.

Humiliation is such a personal type of play it is easy to miss the mark, when it does it leads to a session that can leave the gent feeling like crap (not in a good way) and when it hit's the mark it leaves the gent in the zone ;-)

Exactly so.

Humiliation may be the most difficult play to conduct if the intention is 'real' humiliation, but it is simpler - once the nature of the sub is understood - to indulge fantasies like the one I mentioned at the beginning.

Of course I have also been subjected to activities - and not just fantasies -that would be considered 'humiliating.' Obviously the best thing is to enjoy them and not worry if they are humiliating or not.

Degradation is perhaps easier - once limits are established - because it tends to refer to specific activities.

I have never included humiliation as an interest, even with a long-term partner. On a first session with someone new I find it easier to include more 'impersonal' activities such as CP, and leave the more complex ones for later.

[darkslut]

Adjectives are discrete and singular whereas our emotions and pysche are a superposition of many (and often contradictory) such singular feelings. Terms such as ‘humiliated’, ‘ashamed’, or ‘aroused’ etc are artificial constructs that rarely (or never) exist on their own. Has anyone ever truly felt only a single emotion with a single description that excludes all else ? Unalloyed delight is a fantasy that is typically alloyed with doubt or caution. It is the impurity which strengthens the alloyed emotion.

It is a bit quantum really, because what we experience is really an average weighted sum over all possible emotions, none of which exist in isolation*. Often one term will dominate, but never is it alone*.

Humiliation type play just does not float my boat,
I understand it is a form of session that appeals to some but personally i just don't get it.
I've been to clubs with a former Mistress of mine as a slut. cross dressed, been used by others for her entertainment, been her servant / slave etc never found any of that humiliating just fun ???

[geordiesouth]

Everything is always overthunk

[platelicker]

I am very much into humiliation - private and public - but have always wondered how can something be truly humiliating if the sub asks for it.

My most humiliating experience was public and about a year ago. In fact, the last time that I sessioned.

I was instructed to meet Mistress at an indoor shopping mall/centre. I had no idea what she had planned for me but we had sessioned a number of times before.

We met and she took me to one of the entrances to the mall. She instructed me to kneel down next to the door and stay there as she intended to do a bit of shopping and have a coffee. I was captivated by her power and control over me and the fact that she knew I would obey.

I knelt at the door for about 45 mins. I was permitted to stand for one minute in every five to allow my knees to have some relief. It was humiliating and, to an extent, interesting. The entrance was glass and so I could see people inside the mall and they could see me. Most people either did not see me or ignored; some had a good look but did not say anything; quite a number came up to me and asked me if I was okay.

Mistress returned and we went to her place for a private session. I do not think I could have gone through with it if I had had prior warning and certainly not if the location had been local to me. However, it was a long way from where I live and I did not have time to think. I was in a very submissive zone and just obeyed. I could have got up and walked off at any time but I was not going to disobey and disappoint my Mistress.

[Slutty Rimmer]

Originally Posted by platelicker

I am very much into humiliation - private and public - but have always wondered how can something be truly humiliating if the sub asks for it.

My most humiliating experience was public and about a year ago. In fact, the last time that I sessioned.

I was instructed to meet Mistress at an indoor shopping mall/centre. I had no idea what she had planned for me but we had sessioned a number of times before.

We met and she took me to one of the entrances to the mall. She instructed me to kneel down next to the door and stay there as she intended to do a bit of shopping and have a coffee. I was captivated by her power and control over me and the fact that she knew I would obey.

I knelt at the door for about 45 mins. I was permitted to stand for one minute in every five to allow my knees to have some relief. It was humiliating and, to an extent, interesting. The entrance was glass and so I could see people inside the mall and they could see me. Most people either did not see me or ignored; some had a good look but did not say anything; quite a number came up to me and asked me if I was okay.

Mistress returned and we went to her place for a private session. I do not think I could have gone through with it if I had had prior warning and certainly not if the location had been local to me. However, it was a long way from where I live and I did not have time to think. I was in a very submissive zone and just obeyed. I could have got up and walked off at any time but I was not going to disobey and disappoint my Mistress.

Well I think it was very irresponsible of your Mistress to leave you there without at least a bowl of water and a bowl of dry biscuits. What if you dehydrated ?

It is these sort of unthinking types of roleplay that can lead to unintended hurt and injury. In fact it wouldn’t surprise me if she is the sort who would also leave a sub in a locked car on a Summer’s day without first winding a window down.

I cannot abide ignorant cruelty to dumb animals, it makes my blood boil !!!

Kind Regards,
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