UKM - I'm done guys. - UK

Mistress Adore · 12-06-2022, 15:18

Below is a copy of what I have left in the admin area of the site.

***I have slept on it and decided I am done with this site.

There is zero support from Sam, neither doing anything to improve the site nor allowing you to take it over to do so yourselves.

This has meant this site has deteriorated from a once vibrant, engaging, supportive community to mostly a couple of people using it for their own self-serving ego-fest.

It started when they were allowed to push the Mistresses away from this site, some did not want mistresses on this site and many years ago now, they left, and since then you guys have done your best to hold onto some of the good it once had.

For me, it is time to decide where my energy and time are best spent.

Every time I come on here it is the same old crap. The same bitterness playing out. The same egos are at play.

These are not young men here, these are men beyond old enough to know better. I suspect more than one has a fake profile and in these last few months, I just do not have the energy, or desire to give these stupid posts my attention.

I can not see this getting any better as long as Sam doesn't care enough to do anything about it, or enough to let you guys.

I am sorry to let you two down, you deserve so much more than the neglect Sam has given you and the disrespect some of the few remaining members show you.***

To those of you who are genuine and have supported the site, Lisal and Reefy thank you.

To those of you who have played games, who have to bait each other, acted superior to others and contributed to the negativity and demise on this site, I wonder if it has been worth it, please do not post on this post blaming others when you know you have been part of the problem.

Good luck to you all.

jo nep · 12-06-2022, 16:17

I am sorry that you have elected to remove yourself from the site and I think I understand your reasons. Thanks for all your input in the past and I agree that it desperately disappointing the attitude that has led to so many Mistresses doing the same.
All the best wherever you land.

Slutty Rimmer · 12-06-2022, 16:18

More than a touch of Solomon’s wisdom in this I think.

Best wishes to Mistress Adore.

Kind Regards,
Rimmer.

ex nihilo · 13-06-2022, 07:37

Even if you are no longer modding, it would be great to receive your sensible and grounded posts from time to time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F44nrK0MxEQ

Thank you and best wishes...

Bjorn Brimble · 13-06-2022, 12:00

Best Wishes and Good Luck to Mistress Adore

So if Sam doesn't care about the forum/offers no support/shows no interest etc, what's to stop the mods doing their own thing with it?

Run it their own way

Sam can hardly complain about it if she's given up on the place, which is what it sounds like. Someone has to step up and take over the wheel

Personally I think a complete reset is needed. Has been for some time. Start afresh with clear rules, direction and expectations. It would do wonders for the place and you'd have the Mistresses posting again in no time.

I assume we all want Mistresses to post again?

Lisal · 13-06-2022, 12:25

Honestly

The software is dated and there is a lot we can't change/get at. I am fairly surprised that it hasn't fallen over yet. It needs a revamp.

As the owner Sam will still have responsibility whatever we do so we do have to bear that in mind

As I said elsewhere there has been a VONC and complaints to Sam (or so we've been told) about us

In these circumstances, personally, I have little enthusiasm for a total reset - even if we could do it.

mikeyports · 16-06-2022, 14:59

Mistress Adore

I just want to thank you for some help and advice you gave me a few years ago it was so needed at the time.

take care

Holofernes · 17-09-2022, 18:27

I've only just read Mistress Adore's farewell post, since I rarely visit the site nowadays--for the reasons she outlines in her devastating and accurate analysis. uk-mistresses used to be the premier site for discussion of BDSM topics. Many friendships and even romances blossomed through its agency. Its decline was tragic, and as predictable as it was avoidable. It will take a great deal of effort and ingenuity to revive it, but I hope that this will not be impossible.

posh-sub · 17-09-2022, 23:58

Mistress Adore's post says it all.

It is a tragedy, what has been allowed to happen to this site.

I fear that this really is the end.

Peace & Love
poshie

Holofernes · 18-09-2022, 08:34

I joined UKM at the turn of 2000/2001 and was quickly promoted to moderator. It was a strenuous job, since one had to be on the ball to nip trolling attacks in the bud. Strenuous, despite there being a moderating team of at six or more people. The work was so time-consuming that I gave up after a few months.

It was time-consuming because the board was lively and active. Conversations (and quarrels) happened in real time. If one made a posting, there was often a response within five minutes. I posted several times per day. The degree of communication meant that relationships with mistresses gained a new profundity and level of understanding.

Yet problems were not long in appearing, In 2005, my then mistress--an active contributor—was complaining to me that the board was in decline. Moderators were not being replaced, and the diminished team could not cope. One arrogant and bullying member—Folly—was allowed to wreak havoc unchecked, and the less secure members became nervous about posting. Subray (where is he now?) was prepared to take the board over, but not able to do so. In due course, a rival board—PCUK—appeared in protest, dividing an already shrinking constituency, before it was torpedoed by internal sabotage. Then came the great reset of (I think) 2009.

I had naïvely believed that our postings would be available for ever. That future generations would be able to eavesdrop on our conversations, as if we were eavesdropping on masochists and mistresses of earlier generations, such as Swinburne, Theresa Berkley, and Sacher-Masoch himself. In this belief, I made over 3000 postings. Then, as I said, came the great reset. In the migration to a new and allegedly superior platform, all the earlier postings were lost. This, certainly, discouraged me from further posting, as you can see from my total of postings over the last 15 years. Since then, the board has limped on with progressively declining numbers. Yet it was so stimulating and life-enhancing in its heyday that I cannot quite believe that it is doomed. Where is subray? Can someone please rescue the board, and breathe fresh life into it?

Where is Druid? Where is Lady Anna? Where is the past? As for Folly, si monumentum requiris, circumspice: if you seek a memorial, look around you.

12-06-2022, 15:18	#1
Mistress Adore Moderator Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 1,730 Reputation: 104	I'm done guys. Below is a copy of what I have left in the admin area of the site. *I have slept on it and decided I am done with this site. There is zero support from Sam, neither doing anything to improve the site nor allowing you to take it over to do so yourselves. This has meant this site has deteriorated from a once vibrant, engaging, supportive community to mostly a couple of people using it for their own self-serving ego-fest. It started when they were allowed to push the Mistresses away from this site, some did not want mistresses on this site and many years ago now, they left, and since then you guys have done your best to hold onto some of the good it once had. For me, it is time to decide where my energy and time are best spent. Every time I come on here it is the same old crap. The same bitterness playing out. The same egos are at play. These are not young men here, these are men beyond old enough to know better. I suspect more than one has a fake profile and in these last few months, I just do not have the energy, or desire to give these stupid posts my attention. I can not see this getting any better as long as Sam doesn't care enough to do anything about it, or enough to let you guys. I am sorry to let you two down, you deserve so much more than the neglect Sam has given you and the disrespect some of the few remaining members show you.* To those of you who are genuine and have supported the site, Lisal and Reefy thank you. To those of you who have played games, who have to bait each other, acted superior to others and contributed to the negativity and demise on this site, I wonder if it has been worth it, please do not post on this post blaming others when you know you have been part of the problem. Good luck to you all. Last edited by Mistress Adore; 26-06-2022 at 15:21.

12-06-2022, 16:17	#2
jo nep Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 1,312 Reputation: 145	Sorry for your departure I am sorry that you have elected to remove yourself from the site and I think I understand your reasons. Thanks for all your input in the past and I agree that it desperately disappointing the attitude that has led to so many Mistresses doing the same. All the best wherever you land. __________________ My PD and friend AND Diary of a Lancashire slave

12-06-2022, 16:18	#3
Slutty Rimmer Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: In t'North of t'Country Posts: 5,526 Reputation: 160	Judgement Day. More than a touch of Solomon’s wisdom in this I think. Best wishes to Mistress Adore. Kind Regards, Rimmer. __________________ Light, Life, Love. 🌈 Trans-women are not women…they are men with a mental disorder. Protect women. “You [Rimmer] are truly a master amongst masters...” Ex Nihilo, UK-M. “Freedom only to speak inoffensivley is not worth having.” https://www.judiciary.uk/wp-content/...e-judgment.pdf “If a man can be a woman, there's no such thing as a woman.” “LGBTQIA2S+ ? Everything after the B is either fake, fashion, or illness.” Last edited by Slutty Rimmer; 12-06-2022 at 16:44.

13-06-2022, 07:37	#4
ex nihilo Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 6,537 Reputation: 31	Even if you are no longer modding, it would be great to receive your sensible and grounded posts from time to time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F44nrK0MxEQ Thank you and best wishes... __________________ “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.”

13-06-2022, 12:25	#6
Lisal Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 11,326 Reputation: 973	Honestly The software is dated and there is a lot we can't change/get at. I am fairly surprised that it hasn't fallen over yet. It needs a revamp. As the owner Sam will still have responsibility whatever we do so we do have to bear that in mind As I said elsewhere there has been a VONC and complaints to Sam (or so we've been told) about us In these circumstances, personally, I have little enthusiasm for a total reset - even if we could do it. __________________ Proud to be a woke Last edited by Lisal; 13-06-2022 at 12:32.

13-06-2022, 12:00	#5
Bjorn Brimble Banned Join Date: Apr 2019 Posts: 2,809 Reputation: -14	Best Wishes and Good Luck to Mistress Adore So if Sam doesn't care about the forum/offers no support/shows no interest etc, what's to stop the mods doing their own thing with it? Run it their own way Sam can hardly complain about it if she's given up on the place, which is what it sounds like. Someone has to step up and take over the wheel Personally I think a complete reset is needed. Has been for some time. Start afresh with clear rules, direction and expectations. It would do wonders for the place and you'd have the Mistresses posting again in no time. I assume we all want Mistresses to post again?

16-06-2022, 14:59	#7
mikeyports Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: portsmouth Posts: 944 Reputation: 59	Mistress Adore I just want to thank you for some help and advice you gave me a few years ago it was so needed at the time. take care __________________ don't judge people i accept them There is not a person that breathes that does not have peculiaritys as long as it does not hurt anyone its OK by me.(cant stop the music) [live life and have a beautiful ending https://twitter.com/Elainasslut

17-09-2022, 18:27	#8
Holofernes Member Join Date: Sep 2015 Posts: 21 Reputation: 10	I've only just read Mistress Adore's farewell post, since I rarely visit the site nowadays--for the reasons she outlines in her devastating and accurate analysis. uk-mistresses used to be the premier site for discussion of BDSM topics. Many friendships and even romances blossomed through its agency. Its decline was tragic, and as predictable as it was avoidable. It will take a great deal of effort and ingenuity to revive it, but I hope that this will not be impossible. __________________ Face-sitting has killed the art of conversation.

17-09-2022, 23:58	#9
posh-sub Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Brighton Posts: 979 Reputation: 108	Mistress Adore's post says it all. It is a tragedy, what has been allowed to happen to this site. I fear that this really is the end. Peace & Love poshie

18-09-2022, 08:34	#10
Holofernes Member Join Date: Sep 2015 Posts: 21 Reputation: 10	I joined UKM at the turn of 2000/2001 and was quickly promoted to moderator. It was a strenuous job, since one had to be on the ball to nip trolling attacks in the bud. Strenuous, despite there being a moderating team of at six or more people. The work was so time-consuming that I gave up after a few months. It was time-consuming because the board was lively and active. Conversations (and quarrels) happened in real time. If one made a posting, there was often a response within five minutes. I posted several times per day. The degree of communication meant that relationships with mistresses gained a new profundity and level of understanding. Yet problems were not long in appearing, In 2005, my then mistress--an active contributor—was complaining to me that the board was in decline. Moderators were not being replaced, and the diminished team could not cope. One arrogant and bullying member—Folly—was allowed to wreak havoc unchecked, and the less secure members became nervous about posting. Subray (where is he now?) was prepared to take the board over, but not able to do so. In due course, a rival board—PCUK—appeared in protest, dividing an already shrinking constituency, before it was torpedoed by internal sabotage. Then came the great reset of (I think) 2009. I had naïvely believed that our postings would be available for ever. That future generations would be able to eavesdrop on our conversations, as if we were eavesdropping on masochists and mistresses of earlier generations, such as Swinburne, Theresa Berkley, and Sacher-Masoch himself. In this belief, I made over 3000 postings. Then, as I said, came the great reset. In the migration to a new and allegedly superior platform, all the earlier postings were lost. This, certainly, discouraged me from further posting, as you can see from my total of postings over the last 15 years. Since then, the board has limped on with progressively declining numbers. Yet it was so stimulating and life-enhancing in its heyday that I cannot quite believe that it is doomed. Where is subray? Can someone please rescue the board, and breathe fresh life into it? Where is Druid? Where is Lady Anna? Where is the past? As for Folly, si monumentum requiris, circumspice: if you seek a memorial, look around you. __________________ Face-sitting has killed the art of conversation. Last edited by Holofernes; 18-09-2022 at 08:36. Reason: Correction of typo