Topping from the bottom

[Slutty Rimmer]

Originally Posted by ex nihilo

A good and useful thread.

To me, TFTB means any attempt to subvert the power dynamic between the Dominant and submissive. It shows lack of respect or trust for the D/s relationship, when the submissive attempts to subvert it.

Whether its overt or takes the form of subtle innuendo, in and/or out of session, there will always be an element of subversion in play.

A good Domme who wishes to partake in a long term d/$ relationship, will pick up the subliminal signs from the sub, that things are not going as well as expected and will vary the activities or the scale of an activity accordingly. The sub just needs to be patient and go with the flow.

One weakness in the professional space, is that because the sub is shelling out, they might feel entitled to magistrate the session in some way. Such is the power of money. Quid pro quo is not an option in the true sense of TPE.

Where money (or goods/services in kind) are exchanged then there is never really a ‘top’ or a ‘bottom’ because there is always the agreement mediated by the money. If both are content to keep meeting and playing under that agreement then the play has no real ‘Top' direction.

More authentic domination and control is therefore in the non-PD play where money doesn't cut it, although even then it is still mutual and can be terminated by either party.

Essentially, D/S is a bit of a unicorn for consenting play, as each take what they want, or give what they want to give…by consent. There is no top.

Kind Regards,
Rimmer.